Monday, 14 March 2011

Warning: This book may incite one to laugh out loud in public!


For those who are not yet addicted to the stylish yet impossibly funny Romina who blogs over at Martyr-hood, do dash over and have a gander of her wonderful review and giveaway of Cocktails at Naptime. Don't be intimidated by the fact that she is impossibly gorgeous even when pregnant! She's just like us under the Angelina Jolie style cheekbones!

The lovely Romina says:

"Cocktails at Naptime" covers all my checklist points of interest.

Talk of saggy breasts - check!

Explicit vagina talk - check!

Sexual innuendo and more - check!

Talk of the penis - check!

Hormonal episodes - check!

Every other experience that I as a mother have been confronted with, but no-one bothered to enlighten me with before birth - check!

Profanity - check!

Laughter - check!

Sense of self worth - check!

These ladies cleverly use the art of humour to embark upon the voyage of early motherhood in a way that is relatable and fun to read.

"If you have just had a baby and are surrounded by a pile of earnest baby books that don't seem to have any relevance to your life, please don't despair. Sometimes you don't need advice, sometimes you just need a cocktail at naptime."

Here here sisters!!

I feel honoured to review this book for you all and strongly suggest that if you are a parent, do yourself a favour and have a read of this epic guide.

You will come to the conclusion that the glass of parenthood is half full...not empty!!

One lucky reader now has the chance to win themselves a copy of "Cocktails at Naptime"!!

All you have to do is either "Follow" me on Google Friend Connect on the top right hand side of my page, or "Networked Blogs", or "like" my Facebook page - and simply leave a comment below of your favourite cocktail and how it became to be your favourite.

Competition closes on Wednesday 16th March 2011.

Good luck - and happy drinking to those who aren't encumbered by the growth of a sobering fetus!!

Bitches.  


Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Romancing the Crone


If any of you out there are newly solo and rushing to join a dating website, let me offer you a word of caution before you dive in. There is a new breed of man out there looking to hook forty plus women. He will whisper words of utter delight in your ear, he will look like a God and will immediately be smitten by 'your beautiful smile.' The downside is he's a Romeo Scammer, and, as a mature friend of mine told me, they are wriggling all over the dating website scene, like woodworms in wood!

Yes, in tough economic times people are no longer responding to spam emails promising to grow your penis three extra inches or from melodramatic Nigerian government officials asking to lend them money which you will get back soon with 400% interest. These days you need to have the time, and a certain amount of talent to lure gullible people into parting with their cash.

For the woman of a certain age it all starts when a sexy young under thirty guy connects with you on a dating website and sends you a hunky photo of himself. You might initially think what the heck, even if this guy is a tad too young for me he is smokin' hot, you go girl! If you live in America this guy will claim to be American but alas, he will always live at least a hundred miles away. He'll tease and torment you with his emails at first which are grammatically unsound but you think, well, he does say he's a contractor working in Nebraska, so what if he spells like someone who has just learnt English. When the heart finds that perfect soul mate who cares if he can't spell for shit?

The scam goes on in that the guy never gives you his phone number or asks for yours, starts IMing like a love sick schoolboy and sooner or later arranges to fly over to meet you until a glitch occurs, he claims finances are tight, could you please wire over the money for the flight my dearest darling girl, so we can be together? My friend is au fait with the procedure as she sometimes likes to toy with these Romeo Scammers for kicks. And when she checks their IP addresses they are always (quel surprise!) located in Africa.

If there are any documentary makers out there I'd love them to find out if there are call center type places called Romeo Towers or Passionate Plaza in Africa where these Romeo Scammers ply their trades. Just imagine the conversations when a new guy comes on shift:

Romeo 1 "Where are you up to with that lady in Baltimore?"

Romeo 2 going off shift: "Well, I having warm her up nice hot and you can go in for killing. I have told her I am ready to be flying out to Baltimore from Nebraska seeing to her give one. I telling her in last email: Waiting you the playing sweet music love the making me. Cannot wet to your stroke soft skin and shower the perls over you."

Priceless!

All I'm saying is don't be caught out by the new Romeo Scammers out there. If a young toy boy with abs of steel is immediately smitten by you be assured he may want to plunge, not into your hot body but deep into the crevices of your wallet.